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Posted By: clarity
Date: Tuesday, 6 July 2010, at 6:44 a.m.
I know what you are going through, I've been battling bulimia and being a guy no-one believes me or understands what the hell I'm going through. I have had this illness since 5years of age where i would be embarrassed to eat in front of anyone, I have always skipped meals, no breakfast, lunch, and over indulge at dinner and as I got older I started with the laxatives it started with ten at night and has escalated to 35 at night almost every night, it's only when i go on a fluid only diet that i get a break from the laxatives, it has got to the stage that if someone makes a passing comment on how fat or skinny i am i get severely depressed and start on the laxative regime again until i get so depressed that attempting suicide is the only way out, and believe me this illness is unimaginable, that i have overdosed on antidepressants about 15 times over the years, I have no escape, I can't get rid of this illness and I can't die, I am too scared to jump off a bridge because knowing my luck, I will probably survive but be a crippled for the rest of my life, I am truly suffering I have no hope and to make it worse for the past two weeks I finally thought that i was cured from this bulimia, after my recent overdose, i nearly died, but once again I survived and released that I had lost the need to take laxatives as my weight dropped, and after doing well for two weeks and eating three meals a day and going to the bathroom normally I was feeling over the moon, until mum passes a comment the other night, oh don't eat too much you have put on a little weight, well once again the bulimia is back this time it's 40 laxatives and i am back on the liquid only diet indefinitely, with no escape and the depression is back with a vengeance and I'm getting suicidal again, the only issue is this time, I will go all the way because I have begged for Gods helped and like always I hear nothing nor see any miracles, and whilst I was unconscious during my last overdose episode I can not remember a thing nor did I see anything which could mean that Life after death is not existent.
So if I don't get some serious help this time, then I will go all the way, because if one can not live with one illness image having three, eg Bulimia, depression and Crohn's disease. It is too unbearable and I would never wish this upon anyone. If anyone has anything similar please help I'm desperate!!!!!!
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